This is not a club for intense socializing. This is a club designed for those of us who enjoy reading, writing, and not speaking in front of large numbers of people. It is, in fact, a club designed for tea and armchairs.
For those of you who are tired of having to explain your novel and backstory in tedious detail, this is a place where you can receive quick and snappy critique. Those of us who enjoy a prodigious writing output may also email me as often you like. And, of course, there are the group meetings, guaranteed personally to include like-minded people. Genres discussed here may or may not include science fiction, mystery, horror, fantasy, steampunk or simple Victoriana. Contemporary too, of course (although the chairlady has a weakness for Lucan).
Simply put, dear members, you will be the world and The Pretentious Cognoscenti your mollusc.
And as it is University Season, may I also add that The Pretentious Cognoscenti offers reviews of application essays and personal statements? The chairperson is an inexpensive (free) and glorified spellchecker, grammatizer and neatener of oddends.
Regarding Admission:
If interested, please message me. You will either receive an invitation or an immediate offer. Due to my promise of an exclusive club for writers (as opposed to clubs adulterated with people obligated to attend or in need of a resume polish), the requirements are as follows:
1. The recommendation of a current member.
2. The submission of one piece of writing. Creative, academic, poetry or prose; that's up to you.
3. My approval. (as person managing meetings, literary matters and teacups, I have the basic right to choose whose work I will be sacrificing REM for)
A Combination of 1 and/or 2 with 3 Is Absolutely Necessary. Hence Capital Letters. And Bold Font.
Regarding Meetings:
I realize that most people invited will be extremely busy with exams, tests, schoolwork and extra-curricular activities. However, there are means of circumvention.
Most meetings will be held online, to cater to the needs of members (myself included).
At least 5 posts a month are required on the group's facebook page; it is acceptable for the post to be an enquiry, observation regarding a book, critique of others' writing, or actual writing. I don't care if you submit a 4 line limerick or Bello Civilius v.2000 (actually I would rather adore the latter), but 5 posts will not be difficult.
One piece of creative writing, to be published on the official blog (with author's permission; if necessary I will also remove them, and all rights remain the author's). Anything goes; a limerick, 50 word story or a haiku.
One meeting held during holidays (estimated gap of 3 months): during the holidays, at least one meeting. Time, date and venue to be decided by mutual assent.
Benefits:
1. Free Critique. This includes essays (not schoolwork), creative writing, and personal statements.
2. Although The Cognoscenti doesn't claim any particular talent at writing, undoubtedly having a wider pool of reviewers will improve your work. (even something like "You use 'and' too much, Mr. Hemingway" might be useful. Also the Cognoscenti is in no way affiliated with Mr. Hemingway's estate.)
3. Spirited debates if you enjoy them; here at The Pretentious Cognoscenti, we believe that debates on literature are good fun.
4. Being able to say that you are a member of The Pretenious Cognoscenti, and watch the baffled looks on others' faces.
5. As a member, you will have access to a pool of fellow talented writers. You aren't alone.
6. Other than the requirements, which are meager, that's it. No hidden catches or fees.
Regarding Roles as a Member:
There are 3 commandments.
Read, Write, Discuss.
And be polite.
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